“Love is friendship set to music.” ― Jackson Pollock

What happens when the needle meets the groove? For us, it’s all about coming together, discovery, and reflection. As a couple, these concepts are integral to our relationship, and music provides the ultimate context to dive deeper into each other’s hearts and minds. Thus, amidst stacks of vinyl, the idea behind Needle Meets Groove came about. The object of the game is to connect with music and to connect through music. Anyone can play and everyone wins.

Our Focus:

Exploring our ever-growing vinyl collection, listening and sharing our reflections together, and seeing how our top picks stack up side by side.

Our Process:

We grab 20 albums at random from our collection.

We take turns each picking one until we have 10 altogether.

We listen to each album together and reflect on it.

We each choose our top song from every album.

We each score the albums on a scale of 1 to 10 as a reference point for comparison.

We record our reflections and see how our scores and top picks stack up side by side.

Our Blog:

Even though this activity is one that we developed as a sort of game between the two of us, it also calls for sharing. Showcasing the albums and songs opens it up for people to remember old favorites or discover new ones. It might also inspire couples, friends, or individuals to dive into their own music collections and to explore them with deeper intention, sharing or journaling thoughts along the way. Thus, the game idea quickly turned into a blog plan. Our scoring and thoughts on the music are not meant to be read so much as critical reviews, but more as comparative reflections.

Her Story:

After ten+ years of growing our relationship, I recently suggested to Stephen that maybe it was time we commingle our record collections, with a wide grin. He replied with wide eyes. What it equates to is his mountain joining my molehill as I feel extremely compelled to find a deeper connection with these stacks and boxes that fill our yurt and provide background music for our day to day lives. Stephen has long been collecting records and has foraged near and far for some true gems. He has also been selling and trading records for years so he has been able to connect further with all the titles through his research and experience. While I have been involved from the beginning, supporting the collection with hours spent treasure hunting and dollars spent amassing the finds, I wanted to find a way to really explore and get to know this vast array of music whereby it wouldn’t just drift into the background of other activities. So, we came up with this game.

Ever since we started playing with the idea, I have experienced this feeling of enrichment between us, along with my own creative synapses being stimulated, and my booty shaking (which of course doesn’t hurt the relationship either). Music encompasses all themes and aspects of life and the universe, so we have infinite catalysts for discussion and debate. Being able to discuss our feelings in an abstract context allows us to open up more than if our point of reference were more personal. When I told my friend Rachel about it, she called it preemptive couple’s therapy. It’s definitely therapeutic. It’s not as if we have been feeling a need to work on our relationship for any concrete purpose, but stoking our shared passions in a fun and engaging way just brings more joy to the table. Indulging in that is where it’s at. All in all, I think one of our best ideas yet!

Beyond my relationship with Stephen, this concept speaks to my personal path as well. I have for years shut myself down when it comes to music. Not in terms of listening to it, feeling it or appreciating it, but certainly in terms of attempting to be musical myself or even to vocalize my thoughts about music. I’m learning to shed some of the stifling notions I have about myself, and this game is a perfect exercise for that. The reflective writing aspect that is added with the blog also aids in zoning in on my self-awareness and the sharing aspect builds confidence.

Aside from the intimacy of our home, another healing musical space that has been instrumental to my own self-discovery and love for music has been High Sierra Music Festival, held in Quincy, California every 4th of July weekend. It’s not the only festival that we go to or have gone to but it’s definitely beyond special and we are blessed to have a great volunteer gig that brings us back every year. 2015 marked my 11th year and Stephen’s 10th. It increasingly feels like a home away from home, and I have learned how to step out of my shell more and more. I’ve gone from being a bonafide wallflower crippled by self-doubt to feeling the free-wheeling flower power in the air everywhere, dancing here, dancing there! The truth is that the self-doubt seems to be quite renewable but what I’ve come to find is that dancing without inhibitions and opening your whole self to the music is actually the perfect way to shake all of that off and channel a deep sense of joy that trumps everything in the moment.

His Story:

Why do I love a “good” rock scream? Why do I care if my girlfriend likes this new band I found? What is it about a squawking guitar that allows me to forgive a pulsing, crashing, repetitive beat (how many snare drum hits are in an average pop song?)? Through record collecting, I have attempted to reach back in time to find answers to these questions and more. Where are they? In the music the older kids listened to when I was growing up? Stuff from the 80’s or 70’s? Stuff my parents liked (or didn’t) from the 60’s and 50’s? Older……………………………………………………? When considering any aspect of the human experience, I always find that tracing it through an evolutionary perspective yields new information and answers. In playing the game and writing the blog, I have been thinking a lot about the history of music and how it plays into our basic human instincts.  

“When we treat of sexual selection we shall see that primeval man, or rather some early progenitor of man, probably first used his voice in producing true musical cadences, that is in singing, as do some of the gibbon-apes at the present day; and we may conclude from a widely-spread analogy, that this power would have been especially exerted during the courtship of the sexes,–would have expressed various emotions, such as love, jealousy, triumph,–and would have served as a challenge to rivals. It is, therefore, probable that the imitation of musical cries by articulate sounds may have given rise to words expressive of various complex emotions.” -Charles Darwin 1871, The Descent of Man

Darwin also wrote about our ability to create such complex art as being “amongst the most mysterious with which [we are] endowed” -1871, The Descent of Man

Since then, the relatively new field of Evolutionary Musicology has begun to unravel this mystery. Among other, less relevant, innate human behaviors (group cohesion, storytelling, etc.), music’s origins seem, indeed, largely related to coupling. Much like our animal cousins, we developed more and more sophisticated rituals to distinguish between fit and unfit, compatible and incompatible. Sexual selection is alive and well in bars, in tribes, at school dances, in the idol worship of rock stars and here in our game. It’s like a whole new sexy layer to our nesting ritual. Fitting then that we are launching this blog on Valentine’s Day (also our 11th anniversary). Just as in our most ancient history, love led to music, music will now enrich our love. Let’s get evolving!!

I’m about seven years into a record collection but it feels deeper than that. 2000 records is about my estimate at this point. I have always been into music and dabble with various instruments myself, but rummaging through the music of the past and finding things I never knew existed has taught me a lot. The mess (clutter, mold, bad music) and volume of this hobby can be taxing in our small space and Gabby has been very supportive. She loves music as well but doesn’t have my hoarder mentality. So, it was a bit of a surprise when she recently asked if we could co-mingle and grow the collection, taking a heightened interest in the amassment. How can I possibly share with her everything I have learned through so much time and research? Well, we can systematically scrutinize and meticulously analyze every record in the stash of course!! It turns out to be a fun game and a way for us to connect when we could just be watching TV or cruising the internet.

While our musical tastes align in most cases, in others we differ, particularly on the higher end of our rating system. She claims I’m too harsh as I don’t give out many 9s and am not afraid to give an album I like a 5 or 6. I can’t help but wonder if her scores will tighten up as we get further in, or is she just nicer than me? I guess differing opinions is one of the points anyway. It should be noted that when ranking these albums I am not using the classic scholastic system, rather I am working with the reality of numbers 5, not 7, being the average.

I like my music hard (1970’s hard over 1980’s hard) and fast with a lot of soul and preferably some deeper meaning or artful storytelling. Overall, the collection is fairly eclectic and some things I like are far from what I say I like. 20% or so I have yet to fully listen to and another 50% I have only listened to once, some years ago. This leaves enough discovery and surprise to make our game work for both of us. My hope is that in time others can play along and some of these forgotten gems and dusty classics can see the light of day in a whole new way.